What is rejection? It can take many forms. Anybody remember the Johnny Cash song from around 1971 called, "A Boy Named Sue"? That is an extreme case of rejection!
Recently, I taught a class at my home church on the challenging topics of Rejection, Bitterness and Unforgiveness.
We have all experienced some kind of rejection in our lives. It is a sense of feeling unwanted. Things like not being picked to be on a team at school, being stood up on a date or being laid off from a job due to downsizing. We desire people to love us but we feel as though they do not. You want to be included yet you may feel excluded. You might always feel like you are on the outside looking in.
We can suffer rejection from at least three sources:
Rejection from others. This can come from our family of origin and may be the most common cause. Due to a perceived (or real) favoritism among others in our family or feeling as though your parents never had any time for you.
I grew up in the church and at the age of 5, I began singing solos in church and was born with an artistic nature that my mother encouraged and nurtured. I learned early that one way to get attention was with my creative talents. The more people cheered me on, the more it fed into a bigger problem. It was not until about ten years ago, that I attended a conference by Dr Neil Anderson, author of “The Bondage Breaker” and “Victory over Darkness”. That was the first time I had been exposed to a teaching around performance based acceptance and I identified with it immediately.
Rejection from God. I have spent most of my adult life trying to get an accurate view of God as a father. For much of my life, God seemed to me like a mean guy with a scar on his face holding a lightening bolt, waiting to zap me the minute I stepped out of line. From my distorted view, maybe God would accept me, based on performance. Fortunately, I learned about grace in my mid 20s and have been in "recovery" ever since as a tender Father, reveals to me more and more what He is really like. Presently, I am presently involved in a church culture that is accepting of people, wherever they are in their walk and the lack of a judgemental attitude towards others.
Rejection from ourselves. No matter how difficult we might have found life to be, many times no one is harder on us and our self esteem than ourselves. We begin to believe the lies and distortions from the Enemy due to life experiences. Then, we are all the more critical of ourselves and start a perpetual cycle of defeated living.
Ready for some really good news? God thinks you are awesome! We read in Ephesians 2:10 that "We are God's workmanship." You are God's workmanship!
We were bought, we were adopted, as His own child, He gave us His Spirit, and that we are not a slave but an heir!!
Recently, I taught a class at my home church on the challenging topics of Rejection, Bitterness and Unforgiveness.
We have all experienced some kind of rejection in our lives. It is a sense of feeling unwanted. Things like not being picked to be on a team at school, being stood up on a date or being laid off from a job due to downsizing. We desire people to love us but we feel as though they do not. You want to be included yet you may feel excluded. You might always feel like you are on the outside looking in.
We can suffer rejection from at least three sources:
Rejection from others. This can come from our family of origin and may be the most common cause. Due to a perceived (or real) favoritism among others in our family or feeling as though your parents never had any time for you.
I grew up in the church and at the age of 5, I began singing solos in church and was born with an artistic nature that my mother encouraged and nurtured. I learned early that one way to get attention was with my creative talents. The more people cheered me on, the more it fed into a bigger problem. It was not until about ten years ago, that I attended a conference by Dr Neil Anderson, author of “The Bondage Breaker” and “Victory over Darkness”. That was the first time I had been exposed to a teaching around performance based acceptance and I identified with it immediately.
Rejection from God. I have spent most of my adult life trying to get an accurate view of God as a father. For much of my life, God seemed to me like a mean guy with a scar on his face holding a lightening bolt, waiting to zap me the minute I stepped out of line. From my distorted view, maybe God would accept me, based on performance. Fortunately, I learned about grace in my mid 20s and have been in "recovery" ever since as a tender Father, reveals to me more and more what He is really like. Presently, I am presently involved in a church culture that is accepting of people, wherever they are in their walk and the lack of a judgemental attitude towards others.
Rejection from ourselves. No matter how difficult we might have found life to be, many times no one is harder on us and our self esteem than ourselves. We begin to believe the lies and distortions from the Enemy due to life experiences. Then, we are all the more critical of ourselves and start a perpetual cycle of defeated living.
Ready for some really good news? God thinks you are awesome! We read in Ephesians 2:10 that "We are God's workmanship." You are God's workmanship!
The truth is we were created to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. Rejection starves a person from love and acceptance that they were designed to receive. The problem is that when we turn to others for that love and acceptance, we are setting ourselves up for failure and the damage of rejection. Only God can be trusted as the source of our identity.
So, as a little checkup.....What or who defines you? Is it your job? Your family? What kind of car you drive or what kind of neighborhood you live in?
Rejection is a form of unbelief. Rejection says that you are not accepted by God and in order to be accepted by God, you have to be accepted by other people first.
This kind of thinking sets up man as our god by saying that who you are and who you are not, rests on a human who accepts you or does not accept you.
Anybody know what is the first of the 10 Commandments is? Idolatry. When we seek the approval and acceptance of man, above seeking that from God, then we are guilty of idolatry.
Many times, the progression of rejection is like this: Rejection, loneliness, self-pity, misery, depression, despair or hopelessness, then finally death or suicide.
The primary result of rejection is the inability to receive love from others and to communicate love to them. That is why rejection is one of the greatest hindrances to divine love. We all know people who can believe in the forgiveness and saving power of the cross for other people, but not for themselves.
However, there is a way out! When we base our identity upon what the Word of God has to say about us, we can become virtually rejection-proof. We can become immune from the wounds of rejection as long as we are not basing our identity upon what some other person thinks of us.
How did Jesus deal with it? He was 100% human and 100% God, yet was tempted in every way. As our great High Priest, He is familiar with our sufferings.
Isaiah 53:2-3 “He was despised and rejected by men.”
Even though Jesus was despised and rejected by men, he refused to be defined by that rejection. He never adopted a "spirit of rejection." He refused to allow "rejection" to define who he was or to stop him from fulfilling his Father's mission.
In essence, Jesus said, "I refuse to be identified by who rejects me. I will only be identified by who accepts me -- My Father in heaven."
Lets read in Galatians about who accepts us….
Galatians 4:4-7 “But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.” Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.”
The prerequisite for being free of Rejection is to accept God’s love. Here is a suggested prayer:
“Father God, I thank you that you love me; that you gave Jesus your Son to die on my behalf; that He took on my sin; that He took my rejection; that He paid my penalty. Because I come to You through Him, I am not rejected; I am not unwanted, I am not excluded. You really love me. I am really Your child. You are really my Father. I belong in Your family. I belong to the best family in the universe. Heaven is my home. I really belong. Oh God, thank You, thank You. Please give me the ability and the freedom to love you, my Father in heaven."
